Tatooine Hold’em Party
After my morning blow up with Dooku, I had hoped that he would get the hint that perhaps it was time to move on.
Unfortunately for everyone involved, he was not getting the hint.
I arrived home that evening, drained and exhausted from the days work in the Senate. I had been pushing through a number of resolutions and bills to consolidate more power to the Chancellor’s office. It was tough work intimidating all those Senators with a combination of dark side mind tricks and bribes of Oreo’s.
As I stepped off the elevator into the private foyer, I heard some ruckus coming from the dining room.
“I’m all-in old boy,” I heard Dooku exclaim.
“Yousa all insa? But thersa no pair showing? What yousa have in the pocket? Aces?” came the reply from Jar-Jar.
I turn the corner and behold a sight I never thought I would see.
Cans of Old Mos Eisley everywhere, empty bags of Chee-tos strewn about, and JJ, Qui-Gon, Mace Windu, Anakin, Obi-Wan, Jar-Jar, and Dooku sitting at the table playing No-Limit Tatooine Hold’em poker. It was something of a Survivor:Tatooine reunion actually.
“Yo, Dookie dog, if you win this pot and shizzle, you can pick up some major bling, you know? That cape and top hat is whack…you need a new look.” Anakin said.
Windu spoke up, “Yeah, Dooks. Maybe you should go on that fashion show like Palpatine did? I know that I don’t need to go, my fashion sense is faaantastic. My shiny bald head look never goes out of style.”
No one had noticed me yet. “Well, Lord Tyran...uh, I mean, Count Dooku. Seems that you have decided to throw a poker party?”
“Chancellor Palpatine! Yeaaah!” they all cried in unison, beers cans raised in a toast. It was much like a deranged surprise birthday party that had started without me
“Come on an sit down, we ken take yer money too,” Obi-wan piped in.
“I take it that you are betting the money that I loaned you yesterday, Count?” I asked.
“Well, old chap, I was playing craps down at the bar in the lobby of a local hotel. I got a little behind and in a bit of a spot, and just then JJ here showed up. He was kind enough to lend me some money to pay off the bar keep. Lovely chap, but a bit gruff if you get on his bad side you know.” He began to explain.
“You are still behind on the chip count, Dooku.” JJ added. “And you’re into me for about 2500 credits.”
“2500!” I exclaimed. “I just gave you 1000 yesterday! What have you been doing!?!”
“Uh, well…look here. I’m up on Jar-Jar here in this hand,” he pointed at the gungan, “and I should have that money back in a few minutes.”
“Isa folden. You nosa gonna get mesa money.”
“Wow.” Qui-gon spoke up. “That pot’s like 200 credits man. Groovy.”
“See Maste…uh, Chancellor. I’m already on my way to winning.”
“Not if I decide to play, you won’t.” I replied. “How much to join in?”
“500 to get started, blinds are 10/20.” JJ replied.
“Well then…shuffle up and deal. I’m in.” I said. This should be interesting.
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Author's Note: The photo for this blog was created by my esteemed fellow blogger, JawaJuice (a.k.a. JJ). Visit his blog for more great writing and photo doctoring. Also check out Star Wars:Unmasked for even more great blogs!
Unfortunately for everyone involved, he was not getting the hint.
I arrived home that evening, drained and exhausted from the days work in the Senate. I had been pushing through a number of resolutions and bills to consolidate more power to the Chancellor’s office. It was tough work intimidating all those Senators with a combination of dark side mind tricks and bribes of Oreo’s.
As I stepped off the elevator into the private foyer, I heard some ruckus coming from the dining room.
“I’m all-in old boy,” I heard Dooku exclaim.
“Yousa all insa? But thersa no pair showing? What yousa have in the pocket? Aces?” came the reply from Jar-Jar.
I turn the corner and behold a sight I never thought I would see.
Cans of Old Mos Eisley everywhere, empty bags of Chee-tos strewn about, and JJ, Qui-Gon, Mace Windu, Anakin, Obi-Wan, Jar-Jar, and Dooku sitting at the table playing No-Limit Tatooine Hold’em poker. It was something of a Survivor:Tatooine reunion actually.
“Yo, Dookie dog, if you win this pot and shizzle, you can pick up some major bling, you know? That cape and top hat is whack…you need a new look.” Anakin said.
Windu spoke up, “Yeah, Dooks. Maybe you should go on that fashion show like Palpatine did? I know that I don’t need to go, my fashion sense is faaantastic. My shiny bald head look never goes out of style.”
No one had noticed me yet. “Well, Lord Tyran...uh, I mean, Count Dooku. Seems that you have decided to throw a poker party?”
“Chancellor Palpatine! Yeaaah!” they all cried in unison, beers cans raised in a toast. It was much like a deranged surprise birthday party that had started without me
“Come on an sit down, we ken take yer money too,” Obi-wan piped in.
“I take it that you are betting the money that I loaned you yesterday, Count?” I asked.
“Well, old chap, I was playing craps down at the bar in the lobby of a local hotel. I got a little behind and in a bit of a spot, and just then JJ here showed up. He was kind enough to lend me some money to pay off the bar keep. Lovely chap, but a bit gruff if you get on his bad side you know.” He began to explain.
“You are still behind on the chip count, Dooku.” JJ added. “And you’re into me for about 2500 credits.”
“2500!” I exclaimed. “I just gave you 1000 yesterday! What have you been doing!?!”
“Uh, well…look here. I’m up on Jar-Jar here in this hand,” he pointed at the gungan, “and I should have that money back in a few minutes.”
“Isa folden. You nosa gonna get mesa money.”
“Wow.” Qui-gon spoke up. “That pot’s like 200 credits man. Groovy.”
“See Maste…uh, Chancellor. I’m already on my way to winning.”
“Not if I decide to play, you won’t.” I replied. “How much to join in?”
“500 to get started, blinds are 10/20.” JJ replied.
“Well then…shuffle up and deal. I’m in.” I said. This should be interesting.
----------
Author's Note: The photo for this blog was created by my esteemed fellow blogger, JawaJuice (a.k.a. JJ). Visit his blog for more great writing and photo doctoring. Also check out Star Wars:Unmasked for even more great blogs!
posted by palps at 11/19/2005 06:38:00 PM
7 Comments:
Hmmmm... Sidious , you have more compassion than even I was led to believe. Personaly i think that means weekness. But maybe thats why Im dead and your Supreme Chancelor. Who knows?
Fluke, Han and I must've really alienated everyone at JJ's poker party. I guess that's why we weren't invited to this one.
Did we win big? Did we drink all the beer? I can't remember a thing.
(scratching my head)
Yeah, you and Han won almost everyone's credits. You guys kept coming up with those strange, new games like "Dealer's hand Wild" and "Dealer Deals himself Whatever".
Frankly I'm still a little suspicious as to the validity of those games.
As for Fluke, well...he always brings along that Mr. Sprok...and he just creeps me out.
Those variant games sound more like Han's work than mine. (smile)
I'm with you on Sprok, he just stands there talking about how logical he is. And he wears too much blush, too, if you ask me.
On the other hand, he generally stays away from the Old Mos Eisley and Cheetoes.
Watch Dooku you must. A cheater-pants he is.
Now I understand why you didn't make it to the meeting, that we had planned!
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