What not to wear? (Part one)
I don’t know if you have seen this show on the holonet, but apparently I have not. I am very busy running the government, managing Sith, Inc, and plotting the downfall of the Jedi. I get my DVR to record most of my favorite shows, but don’t always get time to watch them.
Someone apparently nominated me for this show where you are subjected to torture at the hands of a couple of self-proclaimed ‘style gurus’ that tell you that all your clothes are terrible, and that you should throw all of them out and start from scratch.
Tarkin came to my office and told me that there was an emergency meeting in the ‘Hubble’ conference room regarding the separatists. I sensed a disturbance in the force, but then thought that it may be the General Grievous spicy chicken I had for lunch. When I came through the door, I was in for a shock…
Crowd: SURPRISE!
Assembled in the room was Master Yoda, Master Windu, Master Kenobi, Count Dooku, General Grievous, Jar-Jar Binks, Master Adi Gallia, Senator Amidala, and Young Skywalker. Also present were the hosts of the show, Stacy London and Clinton Kelly.
Stacy: Supreme Chancellor, we are from TLC’s What NOT to Wear!
Crowd: YEAH!!!
Stacy: With the help of your friends, we have been secretly recording your every movement, and more importantly every outfit you have been wearing, for the past couple of weeks…
Clinton: …and boy, were we shocked. That black socks and sandals combo you wore to work in the garden last Tuesday…YIKES!
Stacy: Yes, and the super tight cycling shirt and yellow speedo you wore to the gym…what were you thinking?!?
Palps: Well…I…um..
Clinton: And that evening you snuck into the Jedi Temple…what was up with the all black ensemble?
Palps: You saw that? But…
Stacy: We see eeeevrrrrything, and you, my friend, are in dire need of a new look. I mean, what is up with the hair?
Palps: What’s wrong with my hair?!?
Clinton: I don’t know where to begin with the hair…
Stacy: Are you willing to give yourself over to us…mind, body, and wardrobe for 5000 credits?
Palps: Um, well, uh….O what the heck…
Crowd: YEAH!!! Woo-Hoo!!!
I looked into the faces of the people assembled and I could have sworn I saw an evil smirk on Master Yoda’s face as he turned to Senator Amidala, who was winking at him. Count Dooku had his top hat and tails on, clearly trying to suck up to miss Stacy. Kenobi had Cheeto dust all over his face, and Skywalker was grooming his hair in the mirrored reflection of the window.
I wonder which one has betrayed me.…..
Someone apparently nominated me for this show where you are subjected to torture at the hands of a couple of self-proclaimed ‘style gurus’ that tell you that all your clothes are terrible, and that you should throw all of them out and start from scratch.
Tarkin came to my office and told me that there was an emergency meeting in the ‘Hubble’ conference room regarding the separatists. I sensed a disturbance in the force, but then thought that it may be the General Grievous spicy chicken I had for lunch. When I came through the door, I was in for a shock…
Crowd: SURPRISE!
Assembled in the room was Master Yoda, Master Windu, Master Kenobi, Count Dooku, General Grievous, Jar-Jar Binks, Master Adi Gallia, Senator Amidala, and Young Skywalker. Also present were the hosts of the show, Stacy London and Clinton Kelly.
Stacy: Supreme Chancellor, we are from TLC’s What NOT to Wear!
Crowd: YEAH!!!
Stacy: With the help of your friends, we have been secretly recording your every movement, and more importantly every outfit you have been wearing, for the past couple of weeks…
Clinton: …and boy, were we shocked. That black socks and sandals combo you wore to work in the garden last Tuesday…YIKES!
Stacy: Yes, and the super tight cycling shirt and yellow speedo you wore to the gym…what were you thinking?!?
Palps: Well…I…um..
Clinton: And that evening you snuck into the Jedi Temple…what was up with the all black ensemble?
Palps: You saw that? But…
Stacy: We see eeeevrrrrything, and you, my friend, are in dire need of a new look. I mean, what is up with the hair?
Palps: What’s wrong with my hair?!?
Clinton: I don’t know where to begin with the hair…
Stacy: Are you willing to give yourself over to us…mind, body, and wardrobe for 5000 credits?
Palps: Um, well, uh….O what the heck…
Crowd: YEAH!!! Woo-Hoo!!!
I looked into the faces of the people assembled and I could have sworn I saw an evil smirk on Master Yoda’s face as he turned to Senator Amidala, who was winking at him. Count Dooku had his top hat and tails on, clearly trying to suck up to miss Stacy. Kenobi had Cheeto dust all over his face, and Skywalker was grooming his hair in the mirrored reflection of the window.
I wonder which one has betrayed me.…..
posted by palps at 9/25/2005 05:55:00 PM
3 Comments:
I've always held the oppionion that you can never go wrong with a thong and combat boots. But that's just me, though.
This is a makeover show. Hello! It's Mace, Chancellor.
Hopefully, make you throw away the feather boas, they will.
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